Cured: Solitude
by Phiso
Summary: “He had always imagined that, upon lifting the curse, he would be truly happy, instantly regaining everything it had stolen from him. So why then did he feel so alone?”


A thought I had while researching Momiji for an RP. If there are any other stories out there based on chapters 115 and 116, please tell me. I'm rather curious to see what other writers think of those chapters.

This is the angsty side of his reaction. I'm sure there's a happier side to it too, but I'll write about that later. Remind me if I forget.

Disclaimer: I own a basket of fruit, but not this particular one.

  
  


Cured: Solitude

  


They were gone. They were all gone. Their presence had vanished. He was alone now.

Yet, strangely enough, it didn't feel as he expected it to feel. Instead of an overwhelming joy coursing through his veins, he felt a deep emptiness in his chest. He had always imagined that, upon lifting the curse, he would be truly happy, instantly regaining everything it had stolen from him.

So why then did he feel so alone?

He felt an unbearable sense of loneliness settle down in his heart. True, he was free now of Akito – of her frail, malicious, dependent spirit – but that freedom had come with a price: He could no longer feel the Jyuunishi.

He had never realized how much he cherished their connection until he lost it. When he younger, he always felt alone and unwanted. What sort of monster was he, to be abandoned by his own mother? It was all thanks to the family curse, a curse he had not caused but was forced to pay the consequences for. How it pained him, to know he had lost everything over being born into his family, a choice he had never made.

However, with the curse came a soft comfort; whenever necessary, he could summon the spirits of his fellow Sohmas, the accursed family members with which he had a bond. He had always been able to summon the Snake's tickling humor; the Dog's teasing bite; the Dragon's stern, steadfast nature. Even the Cat's presence could settle him in the dark hours of the night, for at least he knew that someone was worse off than he was. Their constant company was more reassuring than a thousand hugs from his father. They were proof that he would never be alone.

However, one day, he realized there was one spirit he could not summon: the Rooster's. When he first learned that the Rooster had managed to lift the curse, he felt nothing but a hungering envy. What must it be like to be free? To be able to live life without limitations and restrictions, to be able to hug anyone he wanted and be accepted by society? For more than anything, acceptance was the Rabbit's desire. The Jyuunishi weren't enough for him; his mother was the prize

It wasn't until later that he discovered the Rooster's fate: trapped by pity, the free man chained himself to his demoted God, and never left her side. It was almost as if the curse had never been lifted.

The Rabbit yearned for the day when he would be liberated. He wouldn't waste it, like the Rooster did. No, the thought of a normal life dangled in front of his eyes like a big juicy carrot. He hungered for it, obsessed, waiting for the day when he would be able to go home, his real home, to be embraced and loved by his Mutti like a normal child.

For one long year, the Rabbit did everything in his power to release his curse. He carried out every idea that popped into his head, from performing the Hyakumairi a dozen times to hugging a random girl at the exact time he was born. Soon, his imagination grew thin, and so did his health. He refused to give up hope, but as time went by he found himself a tired and weary Rabbit, with naught a drop of energy left in him. He retreated to his bed, at last ready to give up and resign himself to the same dark fact his fellow eleven had long since accepted: there was no cure. He would be cursed forever.

The Dragon nursed his body back into health and with it his spirit. The feeling of depression wittled away, and he regained his energy; however, his hope was gone forever. No matter how hard he wished for it, he would never taste freedom.

But now, now he was cured. Never in his wildest dreams did he actually imagine it would happen, least of all to him, but it had. If he really wanted to, he could hold a girl close to him and still retain his form, still be himself. The thought was encouraging, but was it really worth it?

No matter how many times he tried, he could not summon his fellow Sohmas. Never again would he be able to sense the Snake's tinkling laugh in his heart; the Dog's barks in his anger; the Dragon's pensive manner in the still moments of the night. The Rat, the Ox, the Tiger, the Cat – they were all gone, banished by some unknown force. He was truly and deeply alone now, in all senses of the word. Not even the memory of his once soft fur remained on his fingers.

Momiji Sohma almost wished the curse had never been lifted in the first place. This solitude was too much to bear.


End file.
